Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Digital Art / Hobbyist Official Beta Tester KP34/Male/Canada Recent Activity
Deviant for 8 Years
3 Month Core Membership
Statistics 152 Deviations 1,729 Comments 115,797 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Ihaveissues20 by garuhn Ihaveissues20 :icongaruhn:garuhn 2 0 wanderingTechmasterAnimatic by garuhn wanderingTechmasterAnimatic :icongaruhn:garuhn 1 0 Ihaveissues19 by garuhn Ihaveissues19 :icongaruhn:garuhn 2 0 Wheres the healing?? by garuhn Wheres the healing?? :icongaruhn:garuhn 12 7 Ihaveissues18 by garuhn Ihaveissues18 :icongaruhn:garuhn 0 13 Take Your Time To Reply by garuhn Take Your Time To Reply :icongaruhn:garuhn 2 4 Ihaveissues17 by garuhn Ihaveissues17 :icongaruhn:garuhn 0 0 Ihaveissues16 by garuhn Ihaveissues16 :icongaruhn:garuhn 0 0 Reluctant Party me by garuhn Reluctant Party me :icongaruhn:garuhn 0 0 High School me by garuhn High School me :icongaruhn:garuhn 0 0 Ihaveissues15 by garuhn Ihaveissues15 :icongaruhn:garuhn 0 0 Fickle creatures by garuhn Fickle creatures :icongaruhn:garuhn 3 1 Ihaveissues14 by garuhn Ihaveissues14 :icongaruhn:garuhn 0 4 Ihaveissues13 by garuhn Ihaveissues13 :icongaruhn:garuhn 0 7 Ihaveissues12 by garuhn Ihaveissues12 :icongaruhn:garuhn 1 0 Ihaveissues11 by garuhn Ihaveissues11 :icongaruhn:garuhn 0 3

Favourites

Marina  and Pearl Splatoon by logancure Marina and Pearl Splatoon :iconlogancure:logancure 686 38 Mina (Hero Academia) (Request) by XxTryingToArtxX Mina (Hero Academia) (Request) :iconxxtryingtoartxx:XxTryingToArtxX 2 1 Overwatch 1st anniversary fan art. by yy6242 Overwatch 1st anniversary fan art. :iconyy6242:yy6242 519 14 Forbidden Forest by Clouws Forbidden Forest :iconclouws:Clouws 9 3 Family by AngeliccMadness Family :iconangeliccmadness:AngeliccMadness 579 22 Aomame by Clouws Aomame :iconclouws:Clouws 10 2 i don't matter by Grogglebox i don't matter :icongrogglebox:Grogglebox 246 0 Mei casual portrait by sakimichan Mei casual portrait :iconsakimichan:sakimichan 15,338 471 Redraw Orb of Hope by RandomPaperWork Redraw Orb of Hope :iconrandompaperwork:RandomPaperWork 7 4 TableTalk by Chrome-Akuma TableTalk :iconchrome-akuma:Chrome-Akuma 8 7 Tsuyu by eye-drool Tsuyu :iconeye-drool:eye-drool 62 1 Not Again by Doxiie Not Again :icondoxiie:Doxiie 3 6 Winter Comic by RandomPaperWork Winter Comic :iconrandompaperwork:RandomPaperWork 3 10 Focus by Silverrosary Focus :iconsilverrosary:Silverrosary 5 3 Me in the Morning sketch by RandomPaperWork Me in the Morning sketch :iconrandompaperwork:RandomPaperWork 10 9 Happy St. Patrick's Day! by RandomPaperWork Happy St. Patrick's Day! :iconrandompaperwork:RandomPaperWork 4 8

Activity


Can't figure how to write a journal on mobile...

I just want to bitch about how the woman I want to be with, is with someone else.. a tale as old as time.. if only I could just move on..,
How does one go.. I can't believe they did this...they make me feel like shit all the time...to... I'm dating them now.?

Today I feel like I've been sucked dry by the Entity, feeding on my hope. Raise it as high as they can, and take it all away. Yet,.. I keep going back, like a fool. I've been warned so many times. I think this time I'll leave the fog and look for other survivors who may actually want to escape together. I've been the killer far too long...letting the entity cloud and warp my mind.

In all seriousness. I've led myself up to believe that there was hope with someone. I know this isn't true. I won't give in again. I don't need this frustration. Regardless if it would be worth it or not. I need to keep looking and searching. But.. I have to keep on the path of self improvement that I've been doing fairly well on. I wonder if anyone ever actually WANTS to be happy. It seems happy people seem to stay far from sad people.. but no one is ever really happy with anything. We strive to be successful... yet even the most successful people are full of regret.

 Existence itself makes no sense to me. One day you and I are going to die. Some say nothing happens, some say you go somewhere else. I have no thought on that except that I don't know and it's way beyond my understanding. Just as why I wonder...people choose to continuously be in misery and to do whatever it takes to make themselves miserable. Is it a sense of comfort? Nothing can go wrong if it's already there? 

  I need to find someone to have a mutual attraction. I yearn for it. I like being alone..but I don't love being alone. I've done some terrible shitty things in my past.. perhaps this is all payback. With endless debt? Must keep moving forward...

  If Death was a singular entity...what would you ask it? I always find the concept of death as something tangible that you can just walk up to and say hi to... fascinating. What would I ask, or say?... Honestly.. I would probably just sit and try to listen as well as my distracted mind could. Would I be afraid of death? I'm not sure... The concept of it kinda sucks. But a being with countless stories and things it could pass on(if willing) would be most interesting.

*sigh*...today's event..will haunt me for a while. It almost feels like a break up from a relationship that never existed except in my own mind. I cannot help how I feel. These are just feelings that will eventually fade away and turn to regret and resentment. 

If the entity calls once again.. I don't think I'll answer.

People keep telling me I deserve better.... but only people who truly know me..know that that is not true. If anything, I DESERVE, no one. I probably deserve this current fate. Oh... speaking of fate. or whatever... I find small omens everywhere.. I'm not sure what they mean...other to annoy me.... I scream at the heavens in public....asking "WHY??? WHY THIS??? WHY THAT??" assuming it knows what I mean. "Oh come on Kyle... the universe is paying attention to JUST you?" no. Why can't it be everyone all the time all at once? why would you think I would limit it's power? O_O... if there is anything... Which some believe there isn't...and others believe there is. I'm not religious. I don't believe in God...but I can't believe that there's nothing. Sorry : /

  I don't want someone who's willing to give me everything..and I don't want anyone who's not willing to meet me half way. Right now though.. I'm not sure I can really..honestly offer anything to anyone. I can't fix doors, I can't drive, I can't repair or upgrade computers. I can't really commit to one thing. But I'm really trying... trying to get better at some things. Just slowly... But I know life won't wait for me.

If you could ask one question...and it's only one. What would it be? To who?... to whatever is out there..or here... or even me O_O (not comparing.. just thought..I'd see if..anyone wanted an answer from me O_o..)

Good night..
  • Listening to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwZwPJwkc34
  • Reading: nothing
  • Watching: Boku no hero Academia
  • Playing: Overwatch
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: water
I guess I just need to move on.
Ihaveissues20
There's way to many reasons and ways this happens and works. Here are some of my basic ideas on how this shit ends up. Maybe... good things can happen.
Loading...
I had a dream where Lindsey invited me over to her house to watch some movie. On my way there, it started to rain REALLY bad, and I realized that I only had one shoe and one sandal on. So I went to find shelter at a friend's place. It was my friend Omer. Every floor seemed to just be a bedroom, so I kept walking upstairs until I found it.

I eventually reached to the top. The stairs kept on straight to the ceiling that was blocked off with a mattress. As I was poking it, my friend came in and saw me. "Oh! Hey Kyle! Come on in! My family is just coming by with dinner. You're more than welcome to join us!"

I took a seat on one of the many giant pillows in the room and watched some tv while he went to see his family. I don't remember too much here except that they were all happy and talking. I heard some music in the next room and went to check it out. There was a big party going on. I walked around the party until my ex found me.

She told me she missed me and wanted to hook up again. I told her I wasn't too sure and I didn't think it was a good idea. But she kept pushing it. So as I was about to cave, this other guy comes into the room and starts joking around with each other. She jokes back and it's starting to really bug me.

They then sit across from each other on a mattress and kept poking their feet into each other's genitals. I was getting really upset now and said "well..whatever my friend LINDSEY invited me over to her place to watch a movie! So I'll go do that" they just ignored me. I tried calling her to no avail. She wouldn't pick up or respond to any of my texts. I started to feel sad. So I just left. I walked through this mall that was just there and I saw this tshirt place that apparently I felt I needed to stand in line for.

While in line I saw people from work who were being nice to me, so I joked around with them a bit until it was my turn in line to be served. The clerk seemed to be annoyed with me and also pushed that it was almost closing time. I looked over behind him to see if I could see a shirt I wanted...but couldn't really see it. He kept groaning and complaining about me taking too much time deciding. So I asked if they had "this shirt"(I have no idea what I asked for). He rolled his eyes and told me that they make that downstairs at the other shirt store and they were almost closed. I'd never make it he told me. So I turned to my coworkers to say bye and ran to the other store. 

  Once there, it had turned into a closed down food place. So I sat there, looking out the window at the rain. Not really sad or anything, but I did look at my phone to see if my friend had messaged me back yet and there was nothing. Then I saw a reflection of a girl in the window looking over at me smiling. I looked back and saw this cute girl who was just closing down a shop smiling at me. I smiled back, she started to walk over...and I woke up because I had to pee.
  • Listening to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcciE7rKFwA
  • Reading: just finished the Dark Tower
  • Watching: Master of None season 2
  • Playing: Overwatch
  • Eating: nothing yet, but probably eggs.
  • Drinking: coffee

deviantID

garuhn
KP
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
Canada
Just a dude who lives in Vancouver, and I'm an animator! (But I secretly just want to play video games all day long)

Current Residence: Vancouver
Favourite cartoon character: Fry and Eek the Cat
Personal Quote: "Everything always works out in the end."
Interests
How does one go.. I can't believe they did this...they make me feel like shit all the time...to... I'm dating them now.?

Today I feel like I've been sucked dry by the Entity, feeding on my hope. Raise it as high as they can, and take it all away. Yet,.. I keep going back, like a fool. I've been warned so many times. I think this time I'll leave the fog and look for other survivors who may actually want to escape together. I've been the killer far too long...letting the entity cloud and warp my mind.

In all seriousness. I've led myself up to believe that there was hope with someone. I know this isn't true. I won't give in again. I don't need this frustration. Regardless if it would be worth it or not. I need to keep looking and searching. But.. I have to keep on the path of self improvement that I've been doing fairly well on. I wonder if anyone ever actually WANTS to be happy. It seems happy people seem to stay far from sad people.. but no one is ever really happy with anything. We strive to be successful... yet even the most successful people are full of regret.

 Existence itself makes no sense to me. One day you and I are going to die. Some say nothing happens, some say you go somewhere else. I have no thought on that except that I don't know and it's way beyond my understanding. Just as why I wonder...people choose to continuously be in misery and to do whatever it takes to make themselves miserable. Is it a sense of comfort? Nothing can go wrong if it's already there? 

  I need to find someone to have a mutual attraction. I yearn for it. I like being alone..but I don't love being alone. I've done some terrible shitty things in my past.. perhaps this is all payback. With endless debt? Must keep moving forward...

  If Death was a singular entity...what would you ask it? I always find the concept of death as something tangible that you can just walk up to and say hi to... fascinating. What would I ask, or say?... Honestly.. I would probably just sit and try to listen as well as my distracted mind could. Would I be afraid of death? I'm not sure... The concept of it kinda sucks. But a being with countless stories and things it could pass on(if willing) would be most interesting.

*sigh*...today's event..will haunt me for a while. It almost feels like a break up from a relationship that never existed except in my own mind. I cannot help how I feel. These are just feelings that will eventually fade away and turn to regret and resentment. 

If the entity calls once again.. I don't think I'll answer.

People keep telling me I deserve better.... but only people who truly know me..know that that is not true. If anything, I DESERVE, no one. I probably deserve this current fate. Oh... speaking of fate. or whatever... I find small omens everywhere.. I'm not sure what they mean...other to annoy me.... I scream at the heavens in public....asking "WHY??? WHY THIS??? WHY THAT??" assuming it knows what I mean. "Oh come on Kyle... the universe is paying attention to JUST you?" no. Why can't it be everyone all the time all at once? why would you think I would limit it's power? O_O... if there is anything... Which some believe there isn't...and others believe there is. I'm not religious. I don't believe in God...but I can't believe that there's nothing. Sorry : /

  I don't want someone who's willing to give me everything..and I don't want anyone who's not willing to meet me half way. Right now though.. I'm not sure I can really..honestly offer anything to anyone. I can't fix doors, I can't drive, I can't repair or upgrade computers. I can't really commit to one thing. But I'm really trying... trying to get better at some things. Just slowly... But I know life won't wait for me.

If you could ask one question...and it's only one. What would it be? To who?... to whatever is out there..or here... or even me O_O (not comparing.. just thought..I'd see if..anyone wanted an answer from me O_o..)

Good night..
  • Listening to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwZwPJwkc34
  • Reading: nothing
  • Watching: Boku no hero Academia
  • Playing: Overwatch
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: water

Visitors

:iconfickleflame:
FickleFlame
Jul 17, 2017
10:45 am
:iconcristianoreina:
CristianoReina
Jul 12, 2017
8:45 am
:iconrandompaperwork:
RandomPaperWork
Jul 9, 2017
5:25 pm
:iconjuanilla:
Juanilla
Jul 6, 2017
12:50 am
:iconhguthguttoast:
hguthguttoast
Jun 28, 2017
10:57 am

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconrandompaperwork:
RandomPaperWork Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the favourite :D
Reply
:icongaruhn:
garuhn Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
anytime ^_^
Reply
:iconveryrandombutterfly:
Veryrandombutterfly Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the watch :3
Reply
:icongaruhn:
garuhn Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Bet!
Reply
:iconxxtryingtoartxx:
XxTryingToArtxX Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Idk wut I'm doing here sooooo....

How's your day been?

Do you like cats more then dogs?

What's the meaning of life?

And would you kiss, kill or marry Chris Prat?


None of these questions are important I just felt like asking.
Reply
:icongaruhn:
garuhn Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I don't know either lol, but thanks for stopping by.

My day? Just has been a real nostalgia trip.

I like dogs, but I'd probably be better off with a cat, except that I'm super allergic to them XD

The meaning of life? No idea.

I would none of those to Chris Pratt O_O

It's ok, thanks for asking such goofy questions XD
Reply
:iconrandompaperwork:
RandomPaperWork Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for all the favourites and the kind words.I really appreciate it all!
Reply
:icongaruhn:
garuhn Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
np! Just sharing the love ^_^
Reply
:icongro-ggy:
Gro-ggy Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2016
WOW I swear your birthday was like a few months ago... time sure flies! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Have a wonderful day~~ :heart::heart:
Reply
:icongaruhn:
garuhn Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Haha, time does seem to just fly by. Thanks, Groggy :D I hope you're doing SUPER well :D
Reply
Add a Comment: